'I'm in the passenger seat of my own body': Former TikTok star testifies about the moment he killed his wife

SAN DIEGO (FOX 5/KUSI) -- Ali Abulaban testified in his own defense on Wednesday about the day he shot and killed his wife Ana Abulaban and the man she was in some sort of physical relationship with, Rayburn Barron.

One of the main questions of this double murder trial is what was Ali's motive behind the shooting? The jury heard Ali's answer to that question Wednesday.

“Was it your intent to kill them?" Jodi Green, Ali's attorney, asked him. "No," Ali responded.

Ali also walked through the day of the shooting and his mindset.

"I didn’t expect Ana would ever do that to me, him of all people, she knew how I felt about him, she knew how I felt, I was trying to believe her, I was trying to believe that she wasn't cheating on me, that she would let me fix this because I was sick and struggling from drugs and mental illness," Ali testified. "But I was trying to fix this and when I saw that it was him, I couldn’t take it, I couldn't take the betrayal, I couldn't believe that she could do that to me, to our daughter, and before I could stop myself, I just f***ing snapped, my gun was in my hand and next thing I'm shooting and I can't stop, I'm just shooting, I'm shooting and I'm even startled, it's like I'm watching it happen, like I'm in the passenger seat of my own body…I can't stop it and I hear Ana screaming and crying. And I don’t even remember shooting Ana, I just remember running back to the front door and I grab the door handle and then it hit me, I'm like did that just happen? And I turn around and I see Ana leaning forward and there's blood, I'm like Ana, Ana, Ana, I couldn’t believe I did that.. I don’t know, I didn’t mean to do that.”

Ali said in the months leading up to the shooting, he was addicted to cocaine and there was a lot of toxic back and forth within their marriage.

“It was tormenting me, it was very confusing," Ali testified.

Ali recalling the day of the shooting

On the morning of Oct. 21, 2021, the day of the shooting, Ali sent a video to Ana saying "I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry...what happened to me, was it the drugs, was it my insecurities?...I love you, I'm sorry for all of this," he testified that he was upbeat and excited because he thought him and Ana were in a good place, and were working on their marriage.

He testified that he did not sleep the night before, and was using large amounts of cocaine.

Ali said that day he was leaving to go to Los Angeles to collaborate with other content creators, but before he left, he said he sent a grocery delivery order to their apartment with roses for Ana. He claims that he waited for the delivery notification and waited for Ana to 'thank him' for the flowers, and Ali said he asked her where she was, and she said she was at home, but Ali also went to the apartment, and Ana was not at home, and blocked Ali on the phone.

Ali had often recorded some of the interactions that he had with Ana, and he also recorded the moment he walked into the apartment and Ana wasn't there. On the recording, you could hear Ali talking to himself, "She's lying.. she's cheating on me... she said she's at home, I'm at home..." the video played out in court.

Ali testified about this moment, "the suspicion of her cheating has been happening for months."

In the recording, you could hear Ali growing increasingly frustrated, and he started throwing things around the apartment and throwing some of Ana's clothes down the trash chute of their apartment complex, which was right next door to the front door of their apartment.

“I was throwing the roses, I was having a huge tantrum," Ali testified.

While inside, he said he had an idea to catch Ana cheating, to try and confirm his months-long suspicions.

“I didn’t want to lose the opportunity..." he testified, "I saw my daughter’s Ipad and I immediately thought .. Discord.”

He says he set up the Discord chat on the iPad and his phone, so his phone could listen in to the sounds the iPad was picking up and set it behind the bed in the primary bedroom, plugged in, to catch her if she were to have sex with another man.

He said at that point he "felt so drained mentally, physically," hadn't slept, and went back to his hotel room, where he fell asleep, and woke up to the sound of Ana and a man laughing, which he could hear through the Discord app.

“Immediately I'm like 'Oh my God, that's Ana.... who's that man?... I'm freaking out," Ali said.

He said prior to leaving his hotel, he did about four to five bumps of cocaine, and then did more cocaine in the car by putting the entire bag up to his nose and snorting.

"This is probably the most coke I've ever done in a single moment," he testified.

He said during the approximately 15-minute drive from his hotel to the Spire apartment complex, he was listening to them on the Discord app, where he claims he could hear the man asking Ana if Ali had trashed the apartment, and Ana says that he bought her "cheap a** roses."

“Then it goes silent and I hear R&B music," Ali testified. “I’m high out of mind." He said he was driving more than 90 miles per hour trying to get to the apartment complex to try and catch her cheating on him.

He said when he arrived at the complex, he parked illegally in the red and went up to the apartment complex, with his gun in his holster around his waist, which he said he had often carried with him, and he had a Conceal Carry Weapons permit when he lived in Virginia.

Ali claims that he went up to the apartment, with no intention of killing Ana or the man she was with.

“I opened the door, I was startled... they weren’t in the bedroom, they were right there cuddling on the couch," he said.

Ali testified that he was "like a deer in headlights" and didn't expect the two to be in the living room. He expected them to be in the bedroom and claims he believed he would have had a few moments "to calm down" before seeing them.

He testified that he felt like he was in the passenger seat of his own body and didn't realize what he had done. He recalls screaming for Ana and then immediately calling his mother before getting back into his car and calling 911. He testified the reason for calling: “I called 911 to get them help in the chance to save her," he said.

He said he coordinated with his mom, dad and stepmother to try and figure out a place to take their daughter before he turned himself in. He testified that he went to pick their daughter up from school, was holding her hand and she asked where her mom was. "I said please don't ask me about mom...I started crying," he testified.

He said he heard sirens surrounding the downtown area and his daughter asked about the police cars around them, and that's when he noticed there were police behind him without their lights on.

He said he voluntarily pulled his car over, even before the police turned on their lights or sirens, and told his daughter, "I hurt mommy, I have to go away now."

Ali testified that his body was trembling, "having guns pointed at you is terrifying," he said.

On the police officer's body-worn camera Ali could be seen asking police if they were able "to get his wife." He testified that he didn't think he had killed Ana and was wondering if she was taken to a hospital.

On Wednesday afternoon in court, there were a few tense moments during the cross-examination of Ali Abulaban.

Deputy District Attorney Taren Brast asked Abulaban a question that he denied and she responded with "I can't ask her," referring to Ana Abulaban.

Ali responded, "That is so inappropriate, that is so inappropriate."

In the courtroom, Ali talked to the judge off the microphone, stopped the proceeding and said there was someone in the audience taunting him. The judge reminded the gallery of the rules of the courtroom, and about 10 minutes later, Ali asked for one of the audience members, who he identified as one of the people from the friend group they would hang out with, to be removed from the courtroom for allegedly taunting him.